February 18, 2014

Until You Believe It...

I'm just going to be brutally honest. Being single sucks.


Especially when it seems like everyone else is finding that special "someone," and you're stuck home, alone on Friday night, watching "Pride and Prejudice" - all six hours of the BBC version - yet again.

I know, sister. I. KNOW.

Some of my amazing friends have lately had to have hard talks with guys who have played with their hearts and souls. And, I tell you what, I'm in awe of my friends. Of their strength. Their grace. Their ability to speak the words that explain their hurt, their pain, and the healthy boundaries that these women need to place around their big, fragile, unfailing hearts.

Because the guys weren't getting it.

And so, today, a Friend sat the guy down and had "the talk." And he didn't get it.

Just because he didn't get it doesn't mean it's not right. But, we need words. We need our loved ones to surround us when we do scary, hard things and celebrate with us - and for us - when we take a stand for ourselves.

So, Friend, I told you I'd say it and say it and say it. As many times as you need. I'll say it out loud, I'll text you in the middle of the night, and I'm posting it here for those times that you can't reach me.

(And, for all of you other Friends out there who need the words, read these here as many times as you need...)

You are amazing.
You stood up for your heart.
You spoke your truth in grace and love (or not, and that's okay, too).
There is no need to feel guilt, or second guess, or worry, when you are honest with yourself, God, and others.

I'm seriously in awe of you. You inspire me, and I love you, Friend.

February 10, 2014

Long Time, No Posting...

2013 was hard. HARD.

And, I realized that certain things needed to be put on hiatus in order for me to be able to keep all the rest of my life spinning. It also meant that some of the things that fill my soul also needed to be put on hiatus.

Many nights, I would walk through my door, and then crumple into an exhausted heap on my bed...the floor...the couch...and the idea of making dinner, or seeing a friend, or GRADING was just impossible. Things like blogging were absolutely out-of-the-question; if I can't do the mandatory things (laundry? Grades?), how on earth am I going to do these fun-yet-crazy side projects.

Thing was, I wanted to. And, I had ideas for posts; I would draft them in my head when I walked to work in the mornings. They just never got written down because as soon as my foot hit school property, my day took off in a whirlwind, and those thoughts were lost in the shuffle of life and school and kids.

Has my life settled down a bit? Not really. Maybe a bit.

Have I finally figured out how to balance it all? HAHAHAHHAHA, no way.

Do I need to write for my sanity? YES.

Am I going to be consistent in this? My hopeful answer is, "Darn tootin'!" but I think the truthful answer is, "We'll see."

My goal for this year has been to live IN THE MOMENT. To not rush forward to the next thing; to enjoy exactly where I am. And, to not worry about some of the things I "have" to do, and to do some of the things I "need" to do - for me to be me.